Insecure

Man, what does that title mean? Am I gonna lay down my deepest, darkest fears? Burden you with my low self-esteem issues? Ummm, no thanks.

What I am working through, though, is something I feel very insecure about. My writing.

Say what now?

I received this stamp a few months ago (cool, right?!),

WDPopFic17 Winner Seals-resized.png

yet, I remain among those grappling for confidence.  And you know what? I’m not sure I’ll ever get there.

It’s not that I don’t think I’m a good writer. I do. I am. I know this. I’m good at it. So what’s the problem? What is insecure anyway?

According to Merriam-Webster, it means: not confident or sure : uncertain. feeling somewhat insecure of his reception.

Yep, that pretty much sums up how I feel. My book is on the CUSP of going out into the world. At this point I am moving commas around. Time to get it out there. But I pause, my finger trembling over that send button.

Ugh.

Am I ready for rejection? Cuz it will come. Of course it will come, and probably first. Every manuscript gets rejected numerous times before (or IF) it gets accepted.

Can I handle this? Or is it better just to stay safe and stick my little story in a drawer, start on something new, and just chill, knowing that I wrote a novel.

I did it.

But that’s not the point, is it?

I didn’t write a book for myself. I had something to say. I wanted to get it out there – I just didn’t realize how hard it would be.

Can you relate? Is there something in your life you’ve been putting off, even though the timing is right? Is it because you’re afraid of how you’ll be received? Because that’s all that insecurity is.

FEAR.

Let’s all agree that we don’t want to live in fear. Because that sucks.

Let’s all agree to walk in faith.

Let’s all agree that insecurity has no place in something that we KNOW we were MEANT to do.

Now, grab a coffee, and have a great day. If you need me, you can find me giving a pep talk to myself while I get the nerve up to press SEND.

My goal is May 31. I’ll keep you posted!

2 thoughts on “Insecure

  1. I finally took the time to read Snow. Blood. Love.
    It was so well written! I was captivated.
    Well done, Ami!
    I can’t wait to read your novel once it is published.

    Like

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